You aren’t the only one who has experienced a breakup, especially when you thought you have found the right one and genuine love.
Virtually everyone enjoying a relationship now has once experienced a breakup.
Breakups are often helpful as they help you recognize yourself more than ever before.
Do you feel you can’t love anymore due to a breakup you experienced in the past or currently?
It’s all normal; we all have been there before.
Let me share my story with you about a break up I had many years ago.
My Personal Breakup Story
I fell madly in love with this girl I happen to have met on a dating site.
Luckily for me, we lived in the same town, so she came visiting often, at least once in three days.
Our love grew stronger that it seems like nothing could separate us.
Everyone who was close to me knew her as well.
I saw everything I needed in a wife’s complete in her. She brought me joy always and I felt on top of the world, enjoying love like never before.
We rode on love for two years before weeds started choking in the field where our hearts was planted.
Although we had some misunderstanding along our journey of love, settling them as soon as they came up.
After about two years of our relationship, she changed completely.
She stopped calling and when I call, she felt like I was disturbing her. Most often, she won’t take my calls.
She stopped visiting completely and whenever I inform her I was likely to visit her, she totally refused me coming around.
I became so worried.
Numerously asked her if I had wronged her in any way, to know what the problem was but her response was always negative.
Her constant reply was “nothing”.
I felt she was already tired of the relationship which I had my best, to make things work.
Things started becoming so frustrating and making me emotionally unbalanced.
This attitude of hers continued for a few months until I couldn’t take it anymore, for I felt like dating myself.
On a faithful day, by morning, at about 9 am. I dialed her line and after we greeted, I told her I needed to ask a simple question which she will be providing an answer to.
“Do You Still Love Me”
My question was as simple as that.
She requested I let her think about it for sometime before giving a reply but I persuaded her to get my answer immediately, as the question didn’t need much time for thoughts.
It was “No”.
She told me the love she had for me was long gone and has been battling on how best to tell that to me for a long ago.
“There’s no point continuing this journey since you don’t love me anymore; let us call it an end”
I struggled to say those words before ending the call.
I went on to my room, thinking of what she had said. It was all like a joke. So I called her again to know if she was really serious.
She meant every single word and that was it.
I was devastated, heartbroken, didn’t know what to think. The one I loved so much and took pride in, just acted like a baby witch.
I was so pained that I told myself I wasn’t going to love anymore…I am not giving no girl the chance again, for I saw the relationship as a waste of time and effort.
No matter the love any girl shows after then, I couldn’t still visualize myself dating any. “Never again”, I said to myself.
You may be where I was a few years ago but the good news is that you can love it again after a breakup and I’m here to tell you how.
Tips on How to Love again after a breakup
Some people after experiencing a breakup shift between feeling emotionally overwhelmed to feeling numb after a breakup.
While some have strong feelings of abandonment or rejection after a breakup.
Many tend to repress their emotions after a breakup or struggle to process their feelings.
Others process their emotions easily and heal efficiently after a breakup.
It doesn’t matter which category you fall under. Below are some tips to help you love again after a breakup.
“First best is falling in love…
Second, best is being in love…
The least good is falling out of love…
But any of it is better than never having been in love.”
- Maya Angelou
Mindset towards a breakup
When you experience a breakup, you can be so emotionally down that you begin to have a change of mind towards the negative shift.
You start thinking you weren’t good enough, accuse yourself of being a bad communicator, being boring, wasn’t good at sex, and a lot more, telling yourself how you will never give a relationship a shot anymore.
It’s all so natural by the way, it happens to everyone.
Those negative thoughts are bound to come around, but they don’t come around to help you at all. Instead, they make you feel worst.
It’s just like trying out a business and it failed. The fact that such a business failed, is evidence it can succeed later on.
The fact that you had a breakup means you can manage a new relationship even better than the previous one. You must have gathered little experience and can read the signs of a breakup before it happens, to prevent them.
So instead of falling on negative thoughts, if you must heal from a breakup in other to love again, you must first start feeling positive about such a breakup.
From my breakup story, before I recovered, I told myself these;
“Yes, she was a nice person, I loved her so much, I guess she just got tired or distracted and failed to see how much I love her.
Well, that doesn’t make her a bad person or matter anymore. She has got a beautiful heart and I enjoyed love around her.
I’m still very cute and can get some pretty and very nice girl out there…
There’re more girls waiting for a guy like me.
I’ll definitely get a better girl in no time”.
These positive thoughts changed my life completely and I began to attract very nice girls that I was so confused about who to actually date.
I started to enjoy the female folks well.
My change of thought pulled me out of the valley and so it can if you wish to let go.
Time is needed to heal after a breakup
After a breakup, you need time to heal. Breakups are emotional injuries that need little time to heal completely.
You don’t just rush into another relationship to feel better about a breakup. Doing that will cause you more harm than good.
Take your time to ascertain what you will really love in a relationship and partner. Find out what you can tolerate and what you can’t. Take your time to recognize your value also.
Knowing all this will help you heal faster and ready to love again. It’s a gradual process that many ignore till they get hurt again.
Giving yourself time will allow you to feel the pains of heartbreak and disappointment completely, after which it becomes easier for you to let go and move on.
Believe It will happen not Minding the Breakup
This is very important as any other thing. Many people after a breakup do not believe they can love again or be loved.
Ask yourself this question, “why can’t I be loved again?”
Tell yourself the truth and believe you’re human and you can love again and again and also be loved.
Except you’re not human.
Mingle with friends enjoying their relationship
Friends influence us a lot and there’s really no doubt about that.
You gradually become those you surround yourself with.
Instead of hanging around friends who have experienced breakup like yourself and aren’t willing to date again, relate more with those having good times in their relationship.
It makes you see the opposite sex in a brighter light and how they can really be nice to work with.
You get live evidence of better people being out in the world.
Your healing process becomes rapid when you are always around those having a nice time in their relationship.
And then the best above all is that you start feeling the need to love again and be loved, wish is a great thing.
Making efforts to better you
A breakup can really be a nice time to examine one’s self. After experiencing a breakup, you can try to correct all negative attitudes which you think triggered the breakup.
As you do that, you prepare your mind to love again without knowing you’re doing so.
Everyone likes a nice and better person.
So if you come out that way, you’re bound to attract people ready to share the love.
You can’t experience real love without the risk of heartbreak and disappointment.
Break up happens to everyone and your status isn’t saving you.
It will be wrong to limit yourself from loving because of one breakup or another. When you stop loving, you cease to be human.
Don’t deceive yourself, there will always be that burning desire to love and be loved. Trying to quench what is natural due to a breakup is you hurting yourself more.
When a piece of light fishbone gets stocked in your throat and you managed to send it down by taking water, do you conclude never to eat again when hunger is so much natural?
I will love to hear from you in the comment section below.
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You’re so special and I LOVE YOU.
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A Few Resources
Here is a handful of some of the resources of the blog, Relationship Rig.
- 10 Things Which Can Guarantee Your Marriage Life Is Free From Boredom Today
- Divorce – What Is Divorce and its Causes And Effects
- 5 Ways To Better Your Kids Towards Greatness
- Quenching stubbornness among children
- 3 Reasons Why Your Child Will Always Lie To You As A Parent
- Top 12 Factors that Diminishes Love in a Relationship
- 8 Things A Guy Wants In A Relationship Which Will Make Him Marry And Value You
- 8 Things A Girl Wants In A Relationship With You To Avoid Her Looking Elsewhere
- Ways To Tell If Your Man Is Cheating
- 3 Instant Signs Your Kid Sister Is In Love with a Guy
- How To Know He Truly Loves You – Identify Your Right Man Now
- How To Build Love Again After Breakup An Become A Better Lover Instantly
- 7 Unique Guides To Spice Up Your Relationship Right Away If You Truly LOVE